"Okay, okay, yeah," he mumbles. As easy as it would be to fall asleep right here, they'll both be more comfortable when they're clean. He plants his hands on Dev's chest to push himself up, getting off of him and sitting on the bed for a moment, groggily assessing himself. Yup... Sticky and gross. Sore ass full of come.
Devero slides past him to the end of the bed, pausing to bump shoulders companionably with Seb as he goes. He's sticky and gross too, but much more used to it-- and unselfconscious in his nudity as he thumps to the floor and heads for the bathroom. He cranks the water on for a shower, then comes back out to crouch in front of Seb.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, smiling genially up at him.
Devero is acting like this is all no big deal, just another night. And maybe it is for him. But for Sebastian, this night is pivotal. A hammer breaking the surface of a placid lake. A significant choice that could change everything for him if anyone ever found out, even years from now. He can't help but feel disgusted with himself, despite the fact that it was all consensual and he doesn't regret a thing. Dread encroaches on him from more than one direction: from past acts he feels guilty about, and from the spectre of Atlas, condemning him as someone filthy and depraved. He'd be stripped of his military rank for this, probably thrown under Arsil's Eye. Maybe worse. He can't imagine how anyone would find out, but the fear looms all the same, and with it, shame and guilt.
By the time Dev returns, Sebastian is withdrawn, frowning slightly and staring at the floor, rubbing his palms against his thighs.
He's so damn sweet and lovely as he crouches, signs to ask how he is, looks up at him with an open smile. His kindness makes tears prick at Seb's eyes.
Dev doesn't know a damn thing. And how could he possibly explain?
Oh, he is not fine. Not with that shine in his eyes, not the way he's drawn in on himself. As attuned to body language nuance as Devero is, there's no way he misses that.
He covers Seb's hands with his own for a moment, stilling them, then takes them back to ask, "What do you need right now, Seb? First crack at the shower? A couple minutes to yourself?"
"I need to get clean," he says as his lungs give way, his head falling as tears drip down to his cheeks.
"I'm sorry." He wipes his tears away quickly with the back of his hand. He shouldn't be showing this sort of weakness, and he doesn't want Devero to feel like he's done something wrong, because it's not his fault.
"Copy that," Devero says, and then as long as Seb doesn't resist, he'll scoop him up off the bed and carry him right into the bathroom. Not because he thinks Seb can't walk himself in there, but because acts of service are his love language.
He doesn't resist, wrapping arms around Dev's neck and leaning limply against him. He's hasn't been carried since he was very small, except to be taken in for punishments if he wouldn't walk there willingly. It's a strange feeling, for someone who prides himself on being strong, physically and emotionally. A shaky sob or two escapes him while he's held to Dev's chest, but he tries to keep himself together.
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Date: 2026-01-29 01:28 am (UTC)From:Then he smiles. "As long as I'm back to my quarters before eight tomorrow morning," he says.
Sitting up higher against the bed's backboard with a grunt, he adds, "But if I'm staying, you mind if get cleaned up a little?"
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Date: 2026-01-29 01:39 am (UTC)From:He groans softly, which can be felt against Dev's chest and neck, and nuzzles his face against him more.
"That means I have to get up..." He exhales a small pouting huff. "Fine."
Despite his reluctant agreement, he makes no immediate move.
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Date: 2026-01-29 01:44 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 01:59 am (UTC)From:"Okay, okay, yeah," he mumbles. As easy as it would be to fall asleep right here, they'll both be more comfortable when they're clean. He plants his hands on Dev's chest to push himself up, getting off of him and sitting on the bed for a moment, groggily assessing himself. Yup... Sticky and gross. Sore ass full of come.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 02:21 am (UTC)From:"How are you feeling?" he asks, smiling genially up at him.
cw extreme homophobia, again
Date: 2026-01-29 02:38 am (UTC)From:By the time Dev returns, Sebastian is withdrawn, frowning slightly and staring at the floor, rubbing his palms against his thighs.
He's so damn sweet and lovely as he crouches, signs to ask how he is, looks up at him with an open smile. His kindness makes tears prick at Seb's eyes.
Dev doesn't know a damn thing. And how could he possibly explain?
"I'm... I'm fine," he mumbles unconvincingly.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 02:58 am (UTC)From:He covers Seb's hands with his own for a moment, stilling them, then takes them back to ask, "What do you need right now, Seb? First crack at the shower? A couple minutes to yourself?"
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 03:07 am (UTC)From:"I'm sorry." He wipes his tears away quickly with the back of his hand. He shouldn't be showing this sort of weakness, and he doesn't want Devero to feel like he's done something wrong, because it's not his fault.
no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 03:14 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2026-01-29 03:26 am (UTC)From: